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It's for the Rush

by Michael Roth

Oh no. Did I do too much? Will I make it? Oh well, nothing for it now but just ride it out. I feel myself sweating, overheating. I hear every heart beat. Loud. Fast. Too fast? No, it will be fine. Should I find a watch to check it? No it will be fine. You're okay. Youíve done this before. Gravity seems to be shifting. Like Iím on a boat. Each wave takes five or six heartbeats. Are they synchronized? Maybe. Things begins to sparkle, blurred just slightly. Beautiful waves and patterns start to emerge. Everything is moving slowly. The beats of my heart start to slow down. Do they, or does time? How could I ever tell? Why do I do this to myself? Why? And then it hits. Calm. Peace. The pain and discomfort are still there, but they donít matter. Not now. Nothing matters. Everything is just fine. It wonít last, it never does, but I may as well enjoy it for now. I look over. There it is -- the bottle. Empty. No, but that meansÖ

Ö that I have to go all the way over to the sink to get more water. Itís important to stay hydrated after exercising. Sometimes I wonder why I exercise; why I push myself? But now I remember. I remember! But soon, Iíll forget.

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